Sunday, November 27, 2011


Hey guys..I've written something up...and I need your comments and criticisms, whether i should delete this or go on with this..
Thanks..and still...this work is untitled..:)

P. S....this is unedited..just come out of nowhere, I guess..:)


It was a perfect day and I’m buzzing with excitement to see the different places dad had promised us. It was one of our family traditions to go on vacation once a year and this time it is in Europe, Paris, France. Oh yeah, nothing can get better than this. I look at the clock hoping we wouldn’t miss the tour bus, it will leave at 9 am, and still my mom is in the shower at 8.

Mom, could you at least forget to be late just this once, were gonna miss the bus, and I will never forgive you for that”, I said tapping my feet impatiently at the doorway. 

“In a minute, hon”, my mom said from the shower. The splash of water and the scent of her favorite shampoo escalating in the air, clearly indicating, that it won’t be in a minute.

Ashley, it’s ok. The sight will never go, if the bus leave, so be it, we can rent a car, and you could go wherever you want”, my dad said from peeking away from his newspaper and giving me a knowing smile.

Nope, just this once, I want to experience the luxury of being a tourist”, I said a –matter-of-factly. In fact I was the one who insisted we should ride a tourist bus, I often see it in ads and it get the best out of me. Besides, my friends always said, that no matter where you are, no one could make you feel the place better other than someone, who know it well- there it is- a tour guide.

Aren’t going to another land, becoming a tourist?!” my younger brother said as if he just stated something written in the book of who-knows-what.

I turned to look at my brother lounging in the couch like he had all the time in the world. He has a remarkable translucent blue eyes and blonde hair, very well-like mom, a set of to-be-fine jaws and fine nose, except for his lips that’s contorted in a sneer. I ignored him instead, knowing that I could never reason with someone unreasonable.
After forty minutes of waiting, my gorgeous mom appeared at last. She has translucent-blue eyes and shoulder-length blonde hair with a hint of gray. With her slim figure, she could have been mistaken as my sister, of course no one would miss that this woman is overly concerned with fashion. She wears a yellow ruffled blouse and shorts just above her knee. Completing the look are here sunglasses, straw hat, and yellow stilettos. While I on the other hand donned my favorite jeans and a white t-shirt with the words “I love Paris”, very ordinary compared to my mom’s flamboyant display.

Bonjour! Welcome to Paris Tourist Guide. I am your tour guide Madeleine Belle. Thank you for choosing us to serve you while you’re here in Paris. We will make your vacation worthwhile, first stop is to,..”
Madeleine’s English with French accent turned to be awkward in my ears, but I guess I’m not the only one, because some look at here blankly, well, maybe they’re admiring such a beautiful woman. But I believe, it’s a tour guide’s requirement to be attractive in the first place.

She continued talking, but her words are lost to me as I watch the passing views in the window. Paris is truly a world-class city, not only is it the city of romance, but a city rich in culture, architecture and food. I would really like to see the Louvre, from what I’ve come up in the internet, all kinds of arts are there, paintings of great painters and artist, ancient things and so on. Luckily, it is our first stop, therefore, I would be actively listening to the tour guide, even if her flattering smile and flirty looks bored me.

I don’t really think Louvre’s director is a member of , of, what’s it called?, Albie asked looking sideways at me.

“Priory of Sion. And for everyone’s sake, it’s just a book, and well a movie, get a grip on yourself,” I chided, laughing at how he takes things too seriously, yet constantly makes my life a joke.

But why would Dan Brown said he’s saying the truth, and it was base on research and files,’ he argues back.

Well, it might be a way to sell his book you know, people sometimes believed when someone said it’s true, just by putting so-called facts”, I added bored with the cycle of conversation it always takes us when we argued about books.

Well, yeah I get that, but why would people read it, in fact every one I know had seen the movie and purchased the book, even if the church publicly announced to banned it,” he said, nibbling his thumb, a mannerism he got from dad.

Stop it, you’re gross!” when he smiled crookedly at me I continued, “All right, I don’t know, I’m not your personal encyclopedia ok, but I think when something is keep from people, it tends to create the opposite, they may claimed they hadn’t read it, but due to curiosity, they read it in secret,” I said with an air of being uninterested hoping this so-called-debate will end, I don’t want to be in a bad mood, especially today, when I’m at my dream place. If only I could get rid with him.

Whoa, look at that”, my brother gushed silently. But I still hear him, since he sit beside me, he won’t really let go of heated conversations no matter where we are, wait, he blushed? no way. I look at him and then look at where he’s looking. Opposite our sit, a pretty girl is unconsciously laughing with her friends. She looks like a princess in her chiffon dress (right, under the summer heat), with big brown eyes and auburn curls framing her face.

 Her friends raise an eyebrow at my brother’s direction and the princess suddenly looks at us. She’s even more beautiful with the sun shining in her face; it makes her look angelic and celestial. 

“Hi,” she said smiling.

I turned back to my brother and nudged him lightly. “Cat got your tongue boy?” I asked him teasingly. He seemed to recovered and muttered hello back at her. My brother leaned toward her and they set of from introductions to animate talking, completely forgetting who they’re talking earlier. I look back at the window, I’m not the kind who’s too nosy, Albie is 14, and he’s old enough to have his own privacy.

I notice we are now in the rural side of the city, which is full of forest and other greenery. I look at the front, trying to decipher where were going, though that seems to be impossible since I haven’t visited Paris until today.

Someone shouted that the steering wheel or something is not working and the driver hadn’t any control on the bus anymore. The people panicked, some started crying and screaming. My brother and I hugged each other, our parents at the seat in front of us look at us with terror. The bus then swerved on the opposite lane, just a 100 meter away from the curve. In a minute, I saw the 10-wheeler truck coming straight to us. The people started screaming. My mind and body seemed to have forgotten their functions, and I stared numbly while the giant thing is gonna smash us all. For the very first time in my life, I was scared.

My head aches when I regained semi-consciousness, someone is kneeling beside me, smoothening my hair and whispering over and over again, that I will be all right, everything will be all right. His hands are soft and strong at the same time. The stranger’s voice has its smoothing effect, calming and relaxing my senses, somehow, I heard that voice before. I turned to look at the road and watched in horror, the tour bus I’m seated with my family earlier is now a crumpled metal toppled upside-down. My vision blurs, but before darkness succumbed me, I saw my guardian angel’s face, looking down on me.

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